Maslin Beach 1997

An Adelaide classic about a bunch of morons hanging out on Australia’s first official nude beach. For some reason the beach goers are a bunch of wannabe writers, painters, poets, and faux holy men who are lovelorn and looking to mingle. 

A hippy dude plays a flute while a chick pretends to cut another chick’s pubes. A girl hooks up in front of her boring husband. People are naked a lot. The main dude almost runs over a kid and some girls while distracted by perving. 

A loser with no chemistry with the female lead whatsoever, he spends the entire flick whining to his mate (who is dressed as Hunter S. Thompson for some reason) about how he doesn’t want to be alone because he’s a sex addict. 

The cast is going strong. One lady was a teacher at my friend Jack's high school. One dude has appeared in nearly 100 things and even has an IMDb head shot. I know from stalking him on Facebook that Joshua Missen who played the little shit kid is engaged to his girlfriend now. Good luck buddy, take a look at those privacy settings. This film also features shameless product placement for Peters Drumsticks, Schweppes Cola, Farmers Union Iced Coffee and Reebok.

Favourite: Hunter S. Thompson’s fake steering wheel work in his ice cream truck. They should have actually been doing doughnuts instead of driving in a perfectly straight line. Also; this whiny little fuck.

4.5 Inches of Old Guy Dick Out of 10