Breeders (1986)

This flick is a masterpiece of bad acting and time wasting. At only 77 minutes long Breeders still features more script padding than any other film in history. Characters stare blank faced at computer monitors, 

have long phone conversations where you can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying, 

linger over the closing of doors or cupboards, walk everywhere seemingly in slow motion even when in grave danger, women disrobe in kitchens and work environments for frequent scenes of nude exercise or more phone conversations, 

girls become hypnotised and nakedly wander slowly through caverns, factories and hospital corridors, when looking for something characters absent-mindedly look around at the roof, walls and floor chewing up as much screen time as possible. Some of film’s most ridiculously over the top screams feature. 

Other than this, some women in NYC are being raped by a fucked up monster and monsters get birthed out of dude’s bodies, maybe. They then become orgy slaves for the aliens or whatever. Brilliant.

Favourite: Gormless detective in charge of the case who does absolutely nothing to solve the crimes. He expressionlessly listens to other people, faces monsters without emotion and even admits to the mother of a victim that he has no idea how to solve the crime and was asking her for help. Incompetent and hilarious.

10 Gratuitous Butt Shots Out of 10